Frequently Asked Questions
What if I or my intended gift recipient doesn’t have a fireplace?
Actually, most of our customers don’t have fireplaces. These firestarters will burn alone up to 20 minutes and can be used in your backyard or driveway. They always provide catharsis and a good laugh, with or without a fireplace.
It is hilarious in its box. What if I don’t want to burn it?
The laughter can last even longer that way! Our products look great in their magnificent dispay box and are a great conversation piece when displayed on your bookshelf or desk.
What exactly is a fire starter?
Our fire starters are a composite of paraffin and sawdust with a wick in the back for easier ignition.
Do the fire starters really work?
Yes, each one weighs more than half a pound and will easily light any fireplace or bonfire. And they are much more fun to burn than normal fireplace logs!
How long do they burn?
Our fire starters burn for 15-20 minutes. With the wick lighting them from the back, the flames come from the top and the side and the face takes a satisfyingly long time to burn off.
Where can I purchase one of your fire starters?
Just visit the product page and click on the Add to Cart button. Our transactions are securely managed by PayPal.
Where are your fire starters manufactured?
We make our fire starters in Asheville, North Carolina. We would not consider outsourcing this offshore – making fun of our politicians is a job better left to Americans.
Are you unpatriotic, insensitive, and hateful people?
We have been accused of all of those things. The answer is an unqualified NO. We are proud to live in a country where we feel free to make fun of the government without worrying about suddenly disappeari.......
